Flower, the Cankled Beast and the little Bugger
You know I recall a time when it was just me and the little goat Sammy who came with me to the farm so long ago. There were only some chickens and ducks to contend with and well don't tell anyone, but I like the chicks, ahem anyhow, Sammy got very sick. The people tried everything to save him. When they finally realized what was wrong with him, it was too late. Everyone was so very sad around here. Sammy had really made everyone smile, even myself and trust me I don't do that very often. Flower came to live with us about the same time, I didn't like her at all, but after Sammy passed on I guess I became a little nicer to Flower. I'm sorry I can't really talk about that right now, I think my alleries are acting up.
Anyhow, Flower, I call her Ms clicky knees. She is a goat and well she is annoying ok, but hey she was all I had besides the chickens and the chickens don't exactly let me boss them around,...I mean, I don't really try to boss them around, they are too far beneath me, I mean they have feathers, uck.
You know Flower and I did pretty good with eachother. She understood that I am supreme queen of the farm and she above all else knew the golden rule, no one and I mean NO ONE get's to look out my window. It's Appy's window. It's just the best view of the place. I can tell if the people are home. I can see if the chickens are out running around or in getting ready to eat, which means I should be ready to eat their meal. I can even see the filthy little feathered beastly ducks that I merely refer to as trouble, splashing in their little pond.
It's a good life here, even when they brought the stinky one to come stay. He smells, ok, not so bad either. It smells kind of like love is in the air, well if you were into that sort of thing. He has blue eyes too and let me tell you a goat with blue eyes, just melts a does heart, ya know? Well at least that's what Flower tells me. I showed him who was boss, he got the golden rule quickly down. Don't tell Flower, but sometimes I let the smelly one, oh his name is Inca just in case it holds any relevence, I let him peek out my window sometimes, especially when he is riper than a skunk. I will tell you a bit more about Old stinky blue eyes some other time.
Right now the issue is the little bugger they brought home. Ok I will admit it, he is a bit cute, alot like Sammy. He is smaller than me, even smaller than Flower, but Flower that's a whole other story. She is a pygmy, not a nigerian like us, she looks like a barrel with an almost nonexistant udder.
The little bugger they call Nemo, he sort of looks alot like me, same lovely blonde hair, even his eyes have that look of spun gold just like mine. H e is pretty well proportioned. But I hate him, it's that simple, he just annoys me.
Who does he think he is trying to come stay in my barn. I didn't think I would have to worry about the golden rule with him. I wasn't even going to let him sleep up on the loft. The first night I banished him to the chicken coop to sleep with that other thing, the short fat thing with a nonexisting neck and cankles.
I wonder how they liked that, ducks below you, chicken steady pooping above you, Ha! that will show them.
I tried to get stinky blue eyes in on the ordeal, you know he has semi horns and all, but noooooo second night out he let the little bugger sleep with him, so much for no loft. I couldn't do anything about it, My love, he is the man of the people, he watched me til way past my bedtime. Everytime I went to nail the little bugger he opened the door and yelled at me.
I finally just got too tired and fell asleep. Oh and Flower, useless, her and those clicky knees, the little bugger can hear her coming. So he runs before she ever makes contact. So it is all up to me to make his life about as miserable as possible, maybe then they will stop bringing these new oddities to the farm.
You know Flower did cause some serious trouble, she isn't that bright you know. She got the cankled beast all in a huff. I soooo underestimated that one. He looked just plain stupid, ok? They call him Wilbur, it's supposed to be cute, I don't see it, maybe it's a pig thing. Well you know the little cankled beast has teeth and two of them are a little ominous looking. Well that nitwit Flower kept going after him, he was wagging his tail incessantly, so I could see her point. I mean happy beast, so fun to ruin their day!
Now he runs around head butting us and gnashing his teeth our way. I don't know if he actually would do us any damage, but as long as he keeps his hindside out of my feed box, I might be able to ignore his presence and none of us will have to find out what damage he could do.
If Flower keeps messing with him though, I'm just going to say it, the girl is on her own. I mean above all else, he can't even see out my window, so not much for me to worry myself about.
Oh one more thing, the cankled beast, he seems to like the little bugger! He even let's the little bugger nibble his ears. I mean what's that all about, gnashing his teeth at my girl Flower and he even chased ol' stinky blue eyes, but that bugger gets to chew his ears. I am going to have to do a little thinking on this while I chew some cud.
Until next time, ..
No comments:
Post a Comment