The Cankled Beast

Do you think he is cute? This is the no neck cankled beast and I assure you he is sooo not cute. Yesterday he chased me and ol blue eyes around the farm. He looked like a big fat torpedo heading for us. He jumped up on our loft again and ate all our food. Sure he let's the baby chicks sit on him, even let's the little bugger chew on his ears, but for me, he honestly is disrupting my day.

Things were just perfect out here in the barn before he came to stay. I got the choicest food, the best place to sit, the chickens would sit on my back and now that is all done. Thank goodness he is too short to look out my window at least I have that left.

Feeding time in the morning is just too hectic, the woman, I see her worried about finding a way to get us all fed without headbutting, teeth gnashing and charging.

I actually find myself feeling a bit bad for Flower too, she is slow, not aggressive at all, so Inca and I have been eating most of her food. The woman used to feed her outside after she locked ol blue eyes and I in the stall to eat, but Flower is too afraid of the cankled beast, so she stays inside at feeding time looking all pathetic. This morning the woman moved our feed trough outside so she can feed Flower alone inside. I mean I can understand it, Ms. Clicky knees would surely perish without something to eat and I can't let her pass on. I mean really, how would I procure some extra treats? It's not like stinky blue eyes is going to suddenly become civilized. 

Flower is even more afraid of the cankled beast than Inca and the ducks, this is getting harder and harder I can't even enlist her in his demise in any significant way. Me? Oh let me assure you I am soooo not afraid of him. I run away because I don't rub elbows with such beasts I mean he eats goat poop, can you imagine it?! Even ol Blue eyes hasn't stooped to such levels and he pees on himself when he wants to get lucky.

Anyhow I have been working on my plan. I have decided how to dispose of the cankled beast,  I am going for the sympathy vote. I mean it won't be easy, I haven't been exactly nice to everyone else and the people, they know that. Yet, I believe if I can just make them feel bad for me, the cankled beasts days are numbered.

I have been practicing that wide eyed stare. It's not easy you know to look innocent and scared, but I have watched Flower long enough and I think I can pull it off.

My love, I mean the man, he is home today, it's the weekend. So I am going to wait for him to be out here fixing something in the barn and I will bait the cankled beast into chasing me out of the barn and I will limp, yes I will, even lower my head and open my eyes real wide like a horror screen queen,  I will act as if he bit me with those gnashing teeth of his and the man, he will come to my rescue.